What kind of hound dog are you?
A. Cryin’ all the time
B. Ain’t never caught a rabbit
C. Ain’t no friend of mine
D. Ain’t nothin’ but
They said you were high class.
True or false?
So such a quiz might begin on Buzzfeed or some other pop-culture Web site trying to get you to click click click away.
In honor of the opening of “Smokey Joe’s Café” at Arena Stage on April 25, here is a quiz that instead picks your brain about the work of Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, on whose timeless songs the musical revue is based.
You won’t learn anything about yourself except how much you remember these classic oldies, incorporated in the jukebox musical directed by Randy Johnson, who took Arena’s “A Night with Janis Joplin” to Broadway, and featuring Tony Award winner Levi Kreis and Helen Hayes Award winners E. Faye Butler and Nova Y. Payton. As in life, there may be more than one correct answer to each question.
1. According to one song about a Midwestern city, women there are
A. Crazy
B. Little
C. Politically conservative
D. Litigious
2. Amount of calamine lotion required to quell effects of “Poison Ivy”
A. Small amount
B. Liberal application
C. Entire bottle
D. Ocean
3. Unexpected aspects of “Jailhouse Rock”
A. Warden throws dance party for county jail inmates
B. Prisoners able to sustain own band
C. Every convict dances
D. Flirting between convicts 47 and 3
E. A convict declines jailbreak opportunity so as to not miss the dance.
4. Convicts mentioned by name in “Jailhouse Rock”
A. Spider Murphy
B. Little Joe
C. Shifty Henry
D. Bugs
E. Bernie Madoff
5. Faults of Charlie Brown, according to the song
A. Possible arsonist
B. He’s a clown
C. Writing on the wall
D. Goofing in the hall
E. Always throwing spit balls
F. Calls the English teacher Daddy-O
6. Probability of Charlie Brown getting caught
A. Going to
B. Likely to
C. Not likely to
D. Just you wait and see
7. List of chores in “Yakety Yak” include
A. Taking out papers and the trash
B. Scrubbing kitchen floor
C. Cleaning up room
D. Going to laundromat
E. Taking care of animals
8. Penalties for not doing as instructed in “Yakety Yak”
A. Won’t get any spending cash
B. Prohibited from going out on Friday night
C. Won’t have time to ride around with friends
D. Will be unable to rock and roll any more
9. Properties of being “On Broadway,” according to the song
A. Neon lights are bright
B. Magic in the air
C. Tickets to musicals can be more than $400
D. Girls are something else
10. Drawbacks of being “On Broadway,” according to the song
A. High rent
B. Difficult to get work
C. Nowhere good to eat
D. Glitter rubs off and you’re nowhere.
11. Traits of “Little Egypt,” according to the song
A. Ruby on her tummy
B. Wears only a button and a bow
C. Can do triple somersault
D. Picture of cowboy tattooed on spine
E. No longer in show business
12. Leiber and Stoller songs that are NOT in the musical “Smokey Joe’s Café”
A. “Riot in Cell Block No. 9”
B. “Is That All There Is?”
C. “Along Came Jones”
D. “King Creole”
Smokey Joe’s Café
Runs April 25 to June 8 at Arena Stage, 1101 Sixth St. SW, Washington, D.C. Tickets range from $64 to $119. Call 202-488-3300 or visit www.arenastage.org.
ANSWERS:
Hound Dog questions: Any of the above. That was just a lie. Leiber and Stoller quiz: 1. A and B. 2. D. 3. All. 4. A,B, C and D. 5. All. 6 A and D. 7. All. 8. All. 9. A, B and D. 10. D. 11. All. 12. All.
Catlin is a freelance writer.